How it all comes tumbling down

I'm convinced that the root cause of all evil in this world is due to the fact that everyone is too guarded. Yes, I make yet another generalized statement over one incident that I have had. Here's to thanking God that I have my God given freedoms to do so.
I have been having problems with regards to communication with a close friend of mine and I sought to seek out the problem by having a talk with said person. I honestly believe though that if you ask someone to be polite before such a talk then you'll never get to the root of the matter. Alas, damn it hurts when you try to do the right thing.
This talk has led me to believe that people, in general, are very guarded. Especially when no warning is given as to the nature of the conversation. When I told my compatriot my perspective (i.e. the way I see things from the information that I have through my own experiences and interpretations) on our current situation I was then fed everything that was wrong with me and even chastised for trying to alleviate the situation. I am convinced (not that I consider myself too elite) that a lesser man would have lost his composure and at that point would have said "to hell with my outstretched hand to salvage an uncomfortable situation that we have found ourselves in which is certainly a euphemism for a much more crude term.
I would not deny that I retorted (still elite though) and I definitely did get my grouses across but i did tried to salvage what I could out of the situation. Amazingly though, when persons are faced with a situation that they can fully criticize the participants on the outside, they act just as predicted on the inside. No forgive and forget, no take the higher road and we'll talk and certainly no I can see your point of view, let me be sympathetic to your plight and work out our issues. All they see is, you are lying, wrong and I am not letting go of my perceptions of you because I have already been wronged by you and there is nothing more that i can say.
All I want to do, is get the word out to my friend (if they ever read this) is that, I see your point and I hope you see mine. We have found ourselves in an ugly situation and whilst things may never be as they were lets get our issues in the air and then get back to the point where we can still enjoy each other's company. Please understand that I must unload everything that I have before this can take place and if you have found a better way to deal with it other than thrashing it out i'll be willing to take a stab at your method.
Until then, ...

The dream

Last night I dreamt...

Dreamt that things are as are now. Festive season and its it is time to go home. Sitting and talking. Little apprehensive with regards to communicating. Playing along. Insisting towards being polite. Unable to hold grudge. Realize that everyone else has left. Wise to leave now. Offer to accompany me to vehicle. Long walk. Very long walk. Oblige. On way to vehice starting to have fun. Laguhing, playing, like before. Hands touch, awkward but welcome. Running now towards destination. Gleeful, happy. Reach first parking spot, yours. We separate. Continue walking, alone to vehicle. Pull up, offer drop. Smile, accept notice baggage. Short ride. Driving off. Content. Know things will change. Wake up.

Only a dream....

F$%^!

Assignment: Write an essay about someone's shitty life circumstance that makes you feel so much better about yourself

Why can't I escape being human? I honestly believe that sometimes my humanity is a flaw. Emotions are a bother and I could do better off without them. Sometimes.

Why is it that when you are in a bad mood or your day seems to be not going well, something comes along and makes it even worse.

Read my short story.

Juan was not having a good day. Having had to deal with the pressures going on in his mind, he was out of a job, his vehicle was repossessed and and he was fresh out of a mate. She had just left him for some guy that she met in a restaurant. "Its not like we met in the line at subway," she argued "I simply went into Etiquette to use the bathroom."
"Honestly," he said "he could be some psycho!". Those words kept playing back in his head as he entered his apartment clutching the newspaper he just purchased. He did not have much faith that this paper would win him next month's bread. Thinking back on the words he had said, he thought to himself. I would relish the opportunity to utter "I told you so."
To make matters worse Juan's now ex-girlfriend still lived in the same complex as he did. And he could just hear hear the hum of her maître'd's Subaru. Put it out of your head Juan, it's over, he thought to himself, she has found someone better. Though, the thought of whether or not he would take her back if ever the opportunity arose always nagged him. The thought of them, doing the same thing that he and her would do, nauseated him.
Juan could not understand why everything in his life seemed to be coming down around him. He hated having to pass her along the balcony that led to her staircase. It seemed that up until the moment that their bodies passed his senses would heighten and time would slow down. Their footsteps would sound as thunder whilst the air around him would seem as sandpaper on his raw skin. his eyes would lose focus and his dry mouth would have to force a polite "Good Morning." It would seem hours until the discomfort was over.
How could life get any worse, Juan thought, as he settled into a extremely uncomfortable dining seat. He always promised himself that he would never slip into a spiral of self pity. he couldn't help but think today though; I'm broke, I have to pay for transport, I may not be living 'comfortably' much longer and I have to go through the thrills of seeing someone who invalidates my sense of judgement. Then the moaning from the next room began ...

I'm Present

Yeah I'm present. And bummed as hell right now. You'll hear about it in that bitter and cryptic way that I make my posts soon enough.

Be patient.

And sorry for not posting in so long. I've been kinda lazy. Sorry I've disappointed all 2 of my frequent blog readers...

I'm Back!!!

Ok so i know it's been a while since i've last posted anything. That's because i've seemed to have gotten myself in a rush of activity that i have absolutely no time to sit and write something. So i'm back, although i'm not sure when my next post will be after this.

Well Christmas has come and gone and now it's back to work, oh joy! Back to the old routine. But even though life seems to be a series of tasks we perform almost ritually everyday, i've realized that there are those absolutely wonderful moments that make you feel so special and happy. It doesn't necessarily have to be because of your boyfriend or girlfriend, it could just be your friends or sometimes in my case, my two puppies. Ok, they're not really puppies, they're two very grown pot-hounds, but they exude so much love unconditionally that its impossible not to love them.

So far, life is good and i really hope it stays that way, but as they say, when things are going great, expect something to go horribly wrong. So even though i'm enjoying this tiny bit of happiness, i'm still cautious of what may come soon. I only hope that is just a myth... :)

So i hope Yohance is happy, i'm spreading my love and positivity to his blog once more. Yes, there must be a balance!

Kansas City Shuffle

All you need is a distraction.

Magicians use distractions all the time and call it illusions. Something to keep your mind busy whist you're ignoring that something else is taking place. When it actually does take place you were so caught up in the distraction that you are actually fooled into believing that a trick took place.

I believe that whenever love is not working out for one, one of the most effective forms of protection from the vicious emotional turmoil of heartbreak is to find a distraction. The beauty of this distraction is that it keeps your mind so busy that after a while one tends to forget about ever being hurt. However, unfortunately for the distraction, the one who has caused the hurt is not forgotten. They are actually remembered...

Fondly!

What follows then is that the distraction can only be discarded. Now the illusion is complete and no one saw this coming. Applause! If this seems harsh, this is only because this is a cold and hard reality of life. It is like a primitive version of the dove trick whereby a dove is rescued from a collapsing cage of spikes and appears unharmed on the other side of the magician. Seemingly the dove has escaped but in reality the distraction was crushed to death in the collapsed cage and another was taken from the magician's jacket. Much to the delight of the audience.



I must admit that sometimes distractions are necessary, but what then happens to the distraction? This distraction is now placed in the very same position that you found yourself in to find a distraction!

This person is then now forced to find a distraction them self.

Love will forever be an endless spiral of usages and hurts that coils until the end of time.

Drunken confession

I would admit that I am a whole lot more pettier than I let on. I do petty little things on purpose and pass them off as either me not knowing better or a mistake. Things that show that my devious little mind is always working. Then I chuckle to myself at the havoc that my action could potentially cause playing off the whole chain reaction in my mind.

The whole process is even sweeter when I am slightly inebriated, again only to me. It is if I were a mischievous little imp who preys pranks on unsuspecting victims. The only thing is that these pranks are only mild nuisance to the extremely vigilant. Such as moving a set of keys from one end of the counter to another.

I'm tired....
Good Night